Telle - Hey howdy hey, and welcome to Whose line is it anyway! On today's show, go long! Brandon Miller! Don't look now! Morgan Hamm! Mmm, possum! Michael Passons! And, am I seein' things? Paul Hamm! Hey I'm your host and writer, Telle! Let's get goin'! *runs down to desk with audience applauding* Good morning/afternoon/evening, whatever time of day it happens to be when you're reading this, but welcome to Whose line is it anyway! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like the point the Korean was trying to make after the men's all-around gymnastics competition was already over!

*audience laughs*

Paul - Thank you, Telle! It's about time someone said something that made sense!

Telle - Just doin' my job, hon. ^_^ Let's get onto our first game, party quirks! It's for all four of our spiffy guys. Paul is going to be hosting a party, and the other three guys are each given a strange quirk or identity that Paul has to try and guess. So take it away, gentlemen.

Paul - *eats a Pringle*...Wow...these really do taste like Cheetos! *doorbell rings...Paul opens it* Hi!

*Brandon is a beach bum looking to catch a wave*

Brandon - Duuuuude! Like so incrediby what is up man? *does some weird slap of the hands thing with Paul* Cha, man...DUDE! Pringles! Man, I love these things! *eats one* Whoa! They really do taste like Cheetos!

Paul - ... ... ...Right. *doorbell rings...opens it* Hey, do you have weird tastebuds like I do, or did you stay away from Mom's spaghetti last night?

*Michael is an assortment of household items constantly falling over*

Michael - *looks at Paul...mirrors every move Paul makes, then tips to the right and falls over*

Paul - *blinks* I'll...get back to you.

Brandon - Dude! *jumps on Michael and stands him up like a surf board* Like wicked, man!

*doorbell rings, Paul opens the door*

*Morgan is a travelling salesman selling make-up*

Morgan - Hi, did I miss anything - ? *loud gasp* AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *reaches out carefully to touch Paul's face, but then cringes back in apparent disgust* Oh my goodness, how horrid!

Paul - Yeah, I tend to give off that kind of vibe. Well listen, there's some chips and drinks over on the table if you want anything, so you just gasp in horror of how clean everything is.

Morgan - *starts walking over to table slowly* No...it is you who scares me, but we can fix that! *pretends to pull something out of a bag* With this lipstick, you can be beautiful! Let's just sit you down in a chair...*starts going over to get a chair, but Michael comes and pretends to be one*

Paul - *starts to sit on Michael and Michael falls over, Paul following* I should probably get that chair fixed. *laughs*

Brandon - Dude! There's my ride! *grabs Michael, lays him down on the ground and pretends to ride him like a surfboard. Michael "slips" out from underneath Brandon, and Brandon "falls" into the ocean* Dude, that was so not cool -!

*Jaws theme begins playing out of nowhere*

Brandon - *screams like a girl and pretends to swim away frantically*

Morgan - *in the middle of applying "lipstick" to Paul* Should we save him?

Paul - Nah, I think surf-boy can go on home for the night.

*buzzer**Brandon goes back to seat*

Morgan - So like I was saying, this shade is called cranberry rush, and it can really bring out the color of your...your...ears. *tries not to laugh*

*Telle is laughing histerically*

Morgan - Let's get some light in here so I can see better. *reaches for Michael, pulls Michael's ear* There we go, that's better. Now - !

*Michael falls over*

Paul - Well I sure am glad I got lifetime warranties on all those appliances that keep falling over.

*buzzer**Michael goes back to seat*

Morgan - *stares at Paul*

Paul - *stares at Morgan*

Morgan - *eyebrow twitches*

Paul - *other eyebrow twitches*

Morgan - Well I can't put your mascara on if you keep wiggling your face like that!

Paul - ...Umm...yes, Miss Mary Kay?

Telle - Close enough! *buzzer* *Paul and Morgan go back to their seats* Good job guys, 1004 points a piece.

Michael - Ooo...one thousand and four. Gettin' generous over there, aintcha girl?

Telle - Oh yes sir...mighty generous...*raises eyebrows up and down...laughs* All right, next game is...weird newscasters! You guys are going to be doing the news, Michael will be the anchor, Morgan the co-anchor. And Morgan, you are portraying the rapid decay from human to squirrel throughout the newscast.

Morgan - ...What?! *shakes head in disbelief*

Telle - Hehe, that's what the card says! They write 'em, I read 'em, you do 'em. *laughs* Brandon, you're doing sports. You are to act out the frequent change of channels on a television...Good luck with that by the way. Lastly, Paul is doing weather, and he is supposed to...teehee, act like that sore loser Korean gymnast who got the bronze at the Olympics.

Paul - Great...just great...You know, I always wanted to be Korean!

Telle - Really now? Well here's your chance! *laughs with audience* Ok, Michael whenever you hear the music, go for it!

*funky news music plays*

Michael - Good afternoon, and welcome to the six o'clock news, I'm Larry the Cucumber. Our top story, flopjack Korean gymnast gets hired onto news show.

*audience laughs*

Michael - Not ours of course, but we can assure you that he is being paid well by means of humble pie. Don't leave home without it! Now for more news, let's turn it over to our co-anchor, Willy Makit. Well, Willy?

(If you don't get it, just say the last two sentences out loud)

Morgan - Thanks, Larry! You know, I'd like to express my personal interest in nuts! They're great! I'm just nuts about nuts, ya know! *starts talking faster and in a higher pitch* They're so tasty, and nutty, and even a little fruity! But I don't like fruity. Fruity isn't tasty! No, just nutty for me! *puts hands together in front of face and begins chittering*

Michael - This just in. Eat more chicken. It reduces your chances for developing lung cancer. Now let's get over to sports, with Weggie Miller. Weggie?

Brandon - Thank ya, Larry. Now before you change the channel - ! *changes channel* Crikey! Look at the size of that - ! *changes channel* *sings* The hills are alive, with the sound of - ! *changes channel* Don't you yell at me! I'm the one who supports this family! I bought you -! *changes channel* The cheese goes into the mixture, and this is what we call a - *changes channel* High in fat, stay away from - ! *changes channel* And that'll do it in sports! Back to you, Larry!

Michael - I swear I could've heard whether or not the Titans won...*shakes head...looks at Morgan peculiarly*

Morgan - *now has front teeth out to see, is chittering loudly, and looks almost bug-eyed*

Michael - Newsflash. Heartburn hurts. Now maybe with a look on the brighter side of things, let's turn it over to our Korean pal, Yang Tae Young for weather!

Paul - *in a bad Korean accent* Well as you can see here, the pressure over in Europe is quite high, and it will hold for three long days! It seems to be raining a lot in the locations where they mine gold, but I think the workers working with bronze will be rather disgruntled with the lack of precipitation the gold miners are going to get. But don't worry...*grins slyly* a protest for this ghastly weather has been filed, and is being reviewed carefully by the Canadian judges...Now back to you, Larry!

Michael - Thank you very much, Yang Tae. Well that'll do it for the six o'clock news. For all of us here at Geico News Corp, be safe and...*looks at Morgan who is now scurrying all over the floor and then into the audience, still chittering away* Stay indoors...

*buzzer*

Telle - That was great guys! Really great, I particularly liked that squirrel bit, Morgan. Very realistic and rapid, just like the card said!

Morgan - I'm gonna hurt the person who came up with that one...*laughs*

Telle - Teehee, this is gonna be good. Next game is, film dub. It's for Morgan, Brandon, and Michael. What they're going to do is look at the screen, but there's no sound, so they have to dub it themselves. Take it away guys...^_^

*Film is when Paul discovered he was the Olympic champion in the men's all-around*

*Assistant coach goes to hug Paul*

Michael - *as assistant coach* Oh my gosh, you did it! You won!

Morgan - *as Paul* Nah, nah I couldn't have!

Brandon - *as head coach, Miles Avery* You really did it! You won the free turkey dinner!

Morgan - Ahh!! Turkey!!!!

*Assistant coach hugs Paul, Miles is jumping up and down*

Michael - I just have to burn these extra calories so I can have plenty of turkey!

*Paul raises his arms as a gesture of victory*

Morgan - Yeah! I won the turkey!! It's a dream come true!

Brandon - Hey, Paul! I think the photographers want a picture of Mr.Turkey Man himself!

Michael - You know, we can really get some endorsements for this!

*buzzer*

Telle - *is still laughing*

Paul - *shaking his head*

Morgan - *nodding his head*

Michael - *licking his mouth*

Brandon - Man, what I would give for some turkey right about now...

*everybody laughs*

Telle - Oh man, 1000 points for all of ya, 2000 for Paul for having to sit and watch all that unfold without the burning temptation to rip off Morgan's head. *laughs*

Paul - Ohhh, believe me. That temptation was there. *grinz*

Morgan - Were you picturing stuffing me in this year's Thanksgiving turkey?

Paul - No, I was actually picturing you as the turkey for Thanksgiving this year...

Michael - Don't forget to invite me!

Telle - *while still laughing* We'll be right back!

*commercial break*

Crowd - Hey, Tom! Hey, Tom!

Tom - *looks out apartment window* Uhh...hey guys.

Crowd - Whatcha doin'?

Tom - Eatin' my Wheaties...

Crowd - With lotsa fiber?

Tom - ...Yeah...

Crowd - Can we eat some with you?

Tom - I dunno...

Crowd - We brought milk! *one person holds up pint of milk*

Tom - ... ... ...

One Guy - And a teaspoon of sugar! *holds up spoon of sugar*

Tom - ...Okay.

Crowd - YEAH!!

*back to the show*

Telle - Hey and welcome back to Whose line is it anyway? The show where everything's made up, and the points don't matter. The points are just like a referree out of the University of Syracuse! Boo!!!!

Brandon - Yeah!! Boo!!!

Random Person in Audience - Go orange!!

Telle - *stops laughing and freezes with an angry stare* What was that I heard? *begins edging out of seat* There will be no mercy showed to the one who dared to even utter that atrocious color...*spots guy in audience with a shirt that says "Go Orange!"*

Guy in Shirt - It wasn't me!

Telle - *motions for security...they take him out...thirty seconds later is back in with a "Go Blue!" shirt* Much better...welcome back, sir! All right, next game is...Greatest Hits! This is for Michael, Morgan, and Paul. Morgan and Paul are going to be like TV pitchmen trying to sell their latest CD, Michael will try to sing a few of the songs they come up with, and I need a suggestion from the audience. What would you consider to be a boring job?

Audience Member 1 - Umbrella manufacturer!

Audience Member 2 - Gardner!

Audience Member 3 - Gymnastics judge!

Telle - Oh yeah! Gymnastics judge it is!

*everyone laughs*

Telle - All right guys, the songs of the gymnastics judge! Take it away...

Morgan - We interrupt NBC's presentation of "I'm Korean, gimme back my bronze" for this breaking news bulletin!

Paul - We've got a new CD to sell! Its the songs of the gymnastics judge! Isn't that great news for a change?

Morgan - Very much so, Paul! You know, Paul...growing up, there were a lot of things we had in common, but if I recall, we differed a lot in the music category.

Paul - *confused* ... We did?

Morgan - Well yeah! Don't you remember how you loved your polka, and I just loved my rap?

Paul - ... ... ...No...not particularly, but I'll take your word for it! *grinz*

Morgan - *looks at Paul, then at camera* This just in. My brother could use a toothpick. *audience laughs* Anyway! Like I said though, I loved rap, and there was no greater gymnastics judge hit than "I give it a 9".

*rap music begins playing*

Michael - Yo, here we go!

The show has begun

I'm ready to judge

You stick your landing

And you don't budge

Mama always taught me that life ain't fair

Until you cross the line

Even though I didn't see you do it

I give it a nine!

Yeah, yeah, uh huh

You sprint it

You split it

You stick it

It's all well and fine

But...heh heh

I still give it a nine!

Woot woot!

Yeah yeah!

You tell me you're mad

That it ain't fair

You worked hard on your stuff

'Specially on your hair

But you started to complain

Again and again

Until I couldn't take it no more

And admitted I'm Korean

*song ends*

Morgan - Good, truthful, and heartfelt song, dontcha think, Paul?

Paul - Oh yes, Morgy. Touching. *audience laughs* Well, apparently you needed to get your ears cleaned at the time when we were kids, because I never liked polka. Why? Because I liked my country! The old country that is, and the best gymnastics judge song I can think of from that era, is the one sung by Randy Travis, "This one's for you, Canada".

*old country-ish tune plays*

Michael - *with his mouth mostly closed like Randy Travis*

Oh, Canada

You don't got too many medals

But I hope to get you one herrrrre

I may not be competin'

Truth bein'...

I was never too flexible back in my yearrrrrs

Oh, this one's for you, Canada

His routine was bad

He fell off the bar

But I still think he's a star

This one's for you, Canada

Yer bright 'n shiny gold

Next time, send a better gymnast

That ain't ninety years old

*song ends*

Paul - *sniffles* That song gets me every time...*pretends to cry*

Morgan - There, there, Paul...it's all right. Besides! I got us another great song about a gymnastics judge!

Paul - It ain't polka, is it?

Morgan - ... ... ... Darn it.

Paul - ^_^

Morgan - No actually, its not polka! It's a great, great, great, great, great song in the style of...you guessed it!

Paul - Polka?

Morgan - ...Shoot.

Paul - How about a song that features the wonderful style of pop?

Morgan - Like soda pop?

Paul - ...No. But anyway, the song I'm thinking of, is not polka, but is still good entitled, "Oops, I gave him a ten".

*tune similar to Britney Spears' 'Oops, I did it again' plays*

Michael - Come on, show me whatcha got

What you got in store

I'm just itching to give out

The worst score

Then you went outta bounds

Well say buh bye to the all-around!

Oops, I gave him a ten

I hit the wrong key

Don't know what to do

All the eyes are on me

Oops, I gave him a ten

Say bye to the games

I'm not that judgey-ish

*audience laughs* *buzzer*

Telle - Judgey-ish...*laughs again*

Michael - *innocently* You make it sound as though it weren't a word, Telle...

Brandon - Well I'd hate to be judgey-ish with ya, Mike, but the fact is...no, it ain't a word.

Michael - *pretends to act depressed*

Telle - Aww, its all right, Mike! Besides, I got a great game for us to play!

Morgan - Ooo! Is it polka?

*everyone laughs*

Telle - 'Fraid not, hon. It's...Scenes from a hat, a game for all four of our contestants. In this hat, or rather my head, are suggestions that will be selected for our guys to act out, starting with...Bad perfume names and slogans.

Brandon - Korean Mist. It keeps you stingy.

*buzzer*

Paul - Bronze. The best you could get.

*buzzer*

Michael - Polka Rap. Endorsed by renowned gymnast, Morgan Hamm!

*buzzer*

Telle - Teehee, poor Morgan. Next...Bad things to be trying to do during an opponent's national anthem.

*Morgan pulls Paul out with him*

Paul - Oh, Canada...*Morgan pretends to take Paul's medal* Hey!

*buzzer*

Telle - The latest Olympic's scandal.

Morgan - This just in. Paul Hamm reported to be Canadian, by means of witnessing him singing Canada's national anthem at the gold medal ceremony.

*buzzer*

Paul - News breaking bulletin! Dozens of polka CD's were said to be found inside Morgan Hamm's sports bag instead of his Olympic's uniform. We are presently looking deeper into the matter.

*buzzer*

Brandon - Morgan and Paul Hamm were both discovered just moments ago by their disappointed coaches who declared it outrageous that their pupils were skipping the event finals to satisfy their hunger for turkey. More on this breaking story as more developments come in.

*buzzer*

Telle - Poor choice of words to someone on their deathbed.

Michael - *brings Brandon out with him* Don't worry...the smell will go away in a few decades...

*buzzer*

Brandon - *brings Michael out with him* Don't worry...the smell won't go away in a few decades...

Michael - Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.

*buzzer*

*everyone laughs*

Paul - *brings Morgan out with him* Morgy...before you go, I just wanted you to know we'll bury your polka CD's with you...

*buzzer*

Morgan - *brings Paul out with him* Paul...hate to say it, but...I'm the cute one.

Telle - *laughs histerically and falls out of chair*

Paul *switches places with Morgan* - Morgan...you were adopted...

*buzzer*

Audience - Whoa-ho-ho!

Michael - Gettin' a little personal in here. *grinz*

Brandon - Yeah, I can just feel the tension rising.

*Paul and Morgan glare playfully at eachother*

Telle - Things Telle isn't thinking right now...*raises eyebrows up and down*

Paul - ... ... ... ... ... ...

Morgan - We're waiting...!

Paul - ...Dang it, this is impossible! *walks off*

*buzzer*

Telle - Stuck that one in there myself to throw ya off. ^_^ Last one, moments in time when you wish you didn't have a camera on you.

Morgan - *begins dancing as if to polka*

Brandon - *slips in, pretends to snatch Morgan's camera and begins snapping pictures*

*buzzer*

Telle - Oh that was fun! I love that game! You know why? 'Cuz I'm in charge of it! ^_^

Michael - Pff, go figure. *laughs*

Telle - Yep, yep, yep! Bein' a writer is a great thing. *grinz happily* All right next game is...Quick change! It's for all four of them, and Michael, Paul, and Brandon are going to act out a scene together, and Morgan will say change every now and then, and the person that just spoke last will have to change what they said.

Morgan - Can I just say, revenge is sweet? ^_^

Telle - Teehee, the scene is...Korean gymnast, Paul has been caught rigging the judging system by Canadian judge, Michael. Then the gymnastics president, Brandon enters the scene to solve the problem. Oh this is gonna be great. Have fun, Morgan!

Morgan - Oh I will...*grinz slyly*

Paul - *walks around...bends over slightly and begins typing...pretends to bang on computer* Stupid thing!

Morgan - Change.

Paul - *sighs heavily*

Morgan - Change.

Paul - I love you!! *pretends to hug computer monitor*

*audience laughs*

Paul - *continues typing away, then nearly shrieks when Michael arrives*

Michael - What are ye doin' to my computar?

Paul - Umm...I was just changing your wallpaper!

Morgan - Change.

Paul - I was just going to take over the world with it!

Michael - Oh, well then that's fine! Take over the world away! *begins walking off, then gasps loudly* Ye cannot take over the world! That would be...bad!

Morgan - Change.

Michael - Ye cannot take over the world! That's my job!

Morgan - Change.

Michael - Sure, I don't care. *walks off and away from Paul a little*

Brandon - *walks on the scene...looks over Paul's shoulder* Well, that's a mighty nice wallpaper you've got there. A strategic map of the world and all...

Morgan - Change.

Brandon - Your wallpaper is of a turkey sandwich. How pleasing to the eye. ^_^ So tell me, son. What are you really doing with that computer there?

Michael - Oh don't mind him, he's just using it to take over the world.

Brandon - Oh, then in that case. Go right ahead!

Paul - ... ... All right, I admit it. I'm rigging the judging system!

Morgan - Change.

Paul - All right, I admit it. I'm fascinated with turkey.

Morgan - Change.

Paul - All right, I admit it. I'm planning to destroy the world using only quarters and polka CD's. It's my destiny...

Morgan - Change.

Paul - ... ... ...Yeah, sure I got a couple quarters. *walks over to Morgan and hands him a couple quarters from out of his pocket*

*audience and Telle laugh*

Michael - Mr.President! I caught this man trying to rig the scoring system for tonight's competition! He's rigged it so no one else but him will win!

Morgan - Change.

Michael - He's rigged it so I can vote for Canada!

Brandon - *to Paul* Well then, I guess I have no choice but to disqualify you from tonight's competition, son. I'm sorry.

Morgan - Change.

Brandon - Well then, I guess I have no choice but to treat you both to dinner tonight in commemoration of Canada's victory! Who's thirsty?

Morgan - Change.

Brandon - I could use a new profession...

*buzzer*

Telle - Is it just me, or did Morgan really enjoy that?

Paul - A little too much, if you ask me...*glares over at Morgan who's grinning happily*

Telle - Regardless, 4000 points a piece for all of you, that was quality entertainment, or more like it, educational reading!

*everybody laughs*

Telle - Let's do another game called Two-line Vocabulary! It's for Brandon, Paul, and Morgan. These three guys are going to act out a scene, but Paul and Morgan can each only say the same two lines the entire scene. Brandon can say whatever he wants. Paul, your lines are, "Can I have whip creme with that?" and "Where's the exit?". Morgan, yours are, "My shoe's untied" and "You're mean". The scene is...disgruntled basketball coach, Brandon is trying to teach his goof-up players, Paul and Morgan the fundamentals of basketball. Knock yourself out, hon! ^_^

Brandon - Okay guys...you were put on this team because I have faith in you that you can do great things. But in order to do great things, you have to understand the basics of basketball. For instance...*pretends to hold a basketball* This is a basketball.

Paul - Can I have whip creme with that?

Brandon - No, you can't. Leather and whip creme don't exactly mix well together.

Morgan - You're mean!

Brandon - Well I will be if you have that attitude! Now let's get to work. Each of you take a ball and dribble for me.

Morgan - My shoe's untied! *points to foot with helpless look on face*

Brandon - Well tie it then! You, *points to Paul* let's see you dribble.

Paul - Can I have whip creme with that?

Brandon - Noooo, you cannot have whip creme while you dribble a basketball. Now dribble!

Paul - *pretends to dribble...ball "gets away" from him...he goes after it...comes back "empty handed"* Where's the exit?

Brandon - Why? You wanna leave practice already?

Paul - ... ... ...

Morgan - ... ... You're mean!

Brandon - Yes, I know I am! Is your shoe tied yet?

Morgan - *pretends tieing his shoe...sighs heavily* You're mean...

Brandon - All right now guys, concentrate. Maybe before we dribble we should work on some footwork, like so. Put your right foot forward *Paul, Morgan, and Brandon each put their right foot forward* Pull it back in...then back out...

Telle - You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out! You put your right foot in, and ya shake it all about! You do the hokey-pokey, and ya turn yourself around! That's what it's all about!

Brandon - ... ... ...

Morgan - ... ... ...

Paul - ... ... Where's the exit?

*everybody laughs...Telle falls out of chair*

Brandon - Anyway...! Back to practice! Let's move onto shooting style.

Paul - Can I have whip creme with that?

Morgan - ...My shoe's untied! *bends down to try and tie it*

Brandon - You two are hopeless.

Morgan &Telle - You're mean!

*buzzer* *everybody laughs*

Telle - Great job! We'll be right back and find out who the winner is!

*commercial break*

(A/N: I couldn't think of a funny commercial, so just get back to the show.lol)

Telle - Welcome back, tonight's winner....everybody! But we're makin' Michael sit behind the desk so he can laugh at our attempts at singing one of my favorite games...Irish Drinking Song! And the topic that we're singing about has already been decided, it is the Olympics Irish Drinking Song! Let's go guys!

All - Ohhhhhhh....Ayedeedydeedydeedydeedy!

Morgan - I went to the Olympics

Telle - It was lotsa fun!

Brandon - I entered gymnastics

Paul - Which I always won!

Morgan - Then there was a controversy

Telle - I got mad at fig!

Brandon - Then I took up balance beam

Paul - But found out my feet were too big!

All - Oh Aydeedydeedydeedydeedy!

Telle - My best event's the high bar

Brandon - 'Cuz I'm really strong!

Paul - But I don't care much for pommel horse

Morgan - 'Cuz I'm way too long!

Telle - I really want to win gold some day

Brandon - And not silver again!

Paul - I only got one bronze

Morgan - But so does the Korean!

All - Oh Aydeedydeedydeedydeedy!

Brandon - It's come right down to the wire

Paul - I wonder who I'll scare!

Morgan - The tension's still building

Telle - I wonder if they'll see me stare!

Brandon - The guy before me was real good

Paul - I wonder what the score will be!

Morgan - I could go check with the Canadian judge myself

Telle - But that's a whole 'nother controversy!

All - Oh Aydeedydeedydeedydeedy!

Paul - But the Olympics are all over now

Morgan - I wish that wasn't so

Telle - 'Cuz there's still so much to do

Brandon - I really don't wanna go!

Paul - The Olympics were great though

Morgan - They never got old!

Telle - But then my dad asked me

Brandon - Are gold medals really made outta gold!

All - Oh Aydeedydeedydeedydeedy! Oh Aydeedydeedydeedydeedydeedydeedyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

*songs ends* *buzzer*

Telle - Thank ya very much, everybody! It's been great! Y'all take care now ya hear? ^_^

~The End~