I was laying in my bed one night,when I just couldn't sleep. I looked over at my clock and it read 2:59 AM. Then I turned over on my side to get more comfortable when I saw my TV on the other end of the room. I decided that since I couldn't sleep,that I might as well watch some TV,thinking maybe it would make me sleepy. So I grabbed my remote and flipped it on. It was on UPN for some reason. You know,that weird station that always has strange programming? But anyway,I saw something that looked kinda interesting so I went ahead and tuned in.

*on TV*

Irvine-Hello!And welcome to my show,the Irvine Kinneas show! We'll be talkin about some mighty fine things tonight,but first,its time for stupid pet tricks!*audience cheers and applauds*First up is Rinoa Heartily with her dog,Angelo!

Rinoa-Hi!

Angelo-Ruff!

Irvine-Down boy!*laughter*So,whatcha gonna do for us Rinoa?

Rinoa-Well,Angelo here is going to do a new what I like to call limit break,and he calls it 'Wolf-gang'*laughter*

Irvine-Sounds cool! Well,go at it there Angelo!

*Angelo starts to howl and then a bunch of wolves storm into the studio. People are screaming,but can't be heard over all the howling being done by the wolves. Irvine screams and jumps on his desk*

Irvine-Make him stop!!!!!!!

Rinoa-Uhh...I don't know how!

Irvine-Well figure something out during commercial break then! We'll be right back folks with the Irvine Kinneas show!*screams again*

*back to me*

I shook my head at the idiocy being displayed before me,but then a commercial came on and it was quite...interesting is all I have to say.

*on TV*

Quistis-Hello,this is Quistis Trepe for Balamb Garden Academy. Wanna be a SeeD? Wanna be like me? Well come on over to Balamb Garden and we'll whip you right into shape!*cracks whip*Enter if you dare!*grinz evily*

Irvine-Aaaaaand welcome back to the Irvine Kinneas show! We,finally got the 'wolf-gang' taken care of and we can move on to the next segment of our show,which will be our winter olympics update with Fujiin and Raijin. Hello guys!

Raijin-Its cold here,ya know?!

Fujiin-BRRRRR!!!

Irvine-So I imagined,but of course it is the winter olympics,ya know?

Raijin-Hey! That's my line,ya know!

Irvine-Oops...didn't mean to do that,ya know?

Fujiin-RAGE!!!

Irvine-Ok...umm,so who won the downhill run?

Fujiin-RAIJIN!!!

Raijin-Wh-?

Irvine-Huh?

*Fujiin kicks Raijin down the hill behind him**laughter comes from the audience*

Fujiin-SEE???!!!

Irvine-Uhh...ok. Well,that'll do it for the winter olympics update! When we come back,the Top Ten list!!*cheers and more applause*

*back to me*

This was crazy,I thought. But it was rather amusing. I never knew stuff like this was on at night. Then another commercial came on,interrupting my thoughts.

*on TV*

Zell-Hey yo! I'm Zell Dincht for Ball Park Franks! Perfect for them family cookouts,or maybe just a nice snack after beating up your arch enemy. You can buy 'em at you're local Piggly Wiggly or any other fine stores!*takes a bite*Mmm...they're so good!

Irvine-Hello there again,I'm Irvine for the Irvine Kinneas show!*girls go crazy*And looky at what I got here!*raises up a card in his hand**audience cheers*Its tonight's top ten list!*some weird,funky music plays*The topic tonight is:Top Ten Ways You Can Identify A Final Fantasy 8 Guy Fan,here goes!

Number 10!*drumroll* You hear a 'whatever' down the hall.

Number 9!*drumroll* Your girlfriend dresses up in a yellow sun-dress and begins to call you 'Irvy'.

Number 8!*drumroll* In class,your teacher accidentally adresses you as the incooperative Seifer.

Number 7!*drumroll* You notice that your girlfriend has suddenly taken up the martial arts.

Number 6!*drumroll* Your best friend's new favorite food is now hot dogs.

Number 5!*drumroll* Your Griever necklace gets confiscated because you're frightening the kids.

Number 4!*drumroll* You go out and buy light brown trench coat,a cowboy hat and to top it off,a shotgun.

Number 3!*drumroll* Your little sister demands you give yourself a scar on your forehead so you look like Squall and Seifer.

Number 2!*drumroll* Your girlfriend orders you to carry a gunblade to keep the other chiks away from you.

And the number one way you can identify a Final Fantasy 8 guy fan!*drumroll*Just look in the mirror!

*cheers and applause**weird funky music plays again*

Irvine-When we come back,our first guest of the evening!

*back to me*

I just knew I HAD to be dreaming. Maybe I had fallen asleep and I just didn't know it. But when they said 'guest',I couldn't help but wonder who it would be...

*on TV*

Zone-Can you hear me now?...Good!....Can you hear me now?...Good....Can you hear me now?...No wait! You're breakin' up! Can you hear me now?!?!...AHH I HATE THIS CELL-PHONE!....Oh..by the way folks,sign up for Verizon Wireless!

Irvine-Yelloooo again people!

Audience-Hi Irvine!

Irvine-Oh yeah...you're a NICE audience! Anyway,its time for our first guest...Squall Leonhart!

*back to me*

Now THAT caught my attention! I immediately jumped out of bed and sat in my chair by my TV as I saw that good lookin' guy walk out on the stage.

*on TV*

Squall-Hey ladies!!

*girls in the audience go crazy*

Irvine-No no no...its like this...HEEEEYYYY ladies!!

*silence*

Squall-Nice Irvine...now they're speechless!

*laughter from the audience*

Irivine-Whatever,I'm still the ultimate ladies man!

Squall-Sure you are...

Irvine-I am!!

Squall-Uh huh...yeah...

Irvine-You wanna take this outside buddy?!?!

*girls go nuts*

Squall-Ooo...they like that!Do it again!

Irvine-Do what again?

Squall-What you just did!

Irvine-Which is what?!?!

Squall-*gets up,picks Irvine up and puts him in Squall's original seat and then he takes Irvine's original seat behind the desk*'You wanna take this outside buddy?!?!'

*girls go nuts again*

Squall-That.

Irvine-Ohh...*switches places with Squall*'You wanna take this outside buddy?!?!'

*silence*

Irvine-They only do it for you...

Squall-What can I say? I was just born gorgeous!*grinz and again the girls in the audience go nuts*So,gonna ask me any questions or are ya just gonna keep trying to get the womens attention?

Irvine-First question...would you like to leave?

Squall-What kind of question is that???

Irvine-An excellent question as a matter of fact!

Squall-Well,I don't like it. Ask me another one.

Irvine-OK...Would you really like to leave?

Squall-*glares at Irvine*Ok...let me ask YOU a question! Would you like to be introduced to my good friend Mr.Gunblade?

*girls squeal in delight*

Squall-Oh I'm so good!

Irvine-OK!!! I've had it! We are going to commercial now!

*back to me*

Aww! Squall was so cute! Why'd they have to go to commercial right then and there? He was on a role! But I was soon rewarded with another commercial.

*On TV*

Squall-Do you pop out at parties? Are you un-poopular? If so,then you need Vitamina Vegtamin! Its bound to give you stupidity every where!...*takes some*Its so tasty! So if you're tired of popping out at parties and being un-poopular,then try*hiccup*...this stuff.

Irivine-Hey there again folks and next up on the Irvine Kinneas show is everyone's favorite arch-enemy,Seifer Almasy!

Seifer-Hey...

Irvine-So Seifer...what was it like being the bad guy in Final Fantasy 8?

Seifer-It sucked...

Irvine-Why?

Seifer-Cuz it just did! That's why!

Irvine-What kind of answer is that? Give us a nice in-depth one!

Siefer-No!

Irvine-Why won't ya tell us? You're only being seen by maybe fifty-six people including the audience. We're all one big happy family here aren't we audience?

*audience cheers*

Seifer-OK!!!I don't like being bad guys cuz that's not the way I am at all! I'm just one of those simple country guys from Toledo. And because of all these bad guy roles I've had thirteen attitude adjustments in the past two-and-a-half years and I can't drink coffee anymore either!!!

Audience-AWWWW!!!!!

Irvine-Its OK big guy.*pats Seifer on the shoulder* Just let it all out man...

*Seifer bawls*

*girls in the audience start to cry too*

Irvine-We'll be right back with more of the Irvine Kinneas Show!

*back to me*

I don't know about you,but I can't stand to see men cry. It gets me all depressed and then I cry too. So as you could imagine,I was crying too. Fortunately I had my tissues handy and I had already used about ten sheets. Then,a commercial came on...

*on TV*

Selphie-Garden Committee planners wanted!!! Come help me plan the Garden Festival! I only need twenty three more of the twenty five required! Come on everybody!...What do I have to do to get ya people goin'? Say: 'Uncle Sam wants YOU to join the Garden Planning Committee!'?...*grinz**brings Laguna onto the set*

Laguna-Uncle Laguna wants YOU to join the Garden Planning Committee!!

*back to me*

Just how did I know that one was coming?

*on TV*

Irvine-Welcome back to the last segment of the Irvine Kinneas show! Its now time for our musical guest. This is gonna be a real treat! Ladies and gentlemen!...Quistis and the Trepies!

*Quistis and her Trepies come out on the stage and perform 'Oops,I did it again'. Irvine meanwhile is backstage laughing histerically. Music stops and they all realize that Irvine has not come out to close the show,so Squall runs out with cheers and applause from the audience*

Squall-Well everybody! Thanks for tuning in! Come back next time for the Squall Leonhart Show! Good night everybody!

Irvine-Hey!!!*runs out on stage*This is MY show! Notice the sign 'The Irvine Kinneas Show' hanging up right there!!*points up to the sign that says 'The Squall Leonhart Show'*What the-?

Squall-Heh heh...

Irvine-Why you!*Squall and Irvine go at it,giving eachother black eyes over and over**Irvine punches Squall hard,and Squall goes down. Irvine stumbles around a bit,trying to tip his hat*Good night everybody from the Irvine Kinneas Show!

Squall-AHHHHHH!!!*gets up and tackles Irvine*

*back to me*

Oh yeah! TV just keeps getting better and better!

~The End~